blog tempat untuk kita meluah rasa, mengekpresi diri, bukan mempertimbang pandangan atau cuba menjadi sesuatu yang lain. blog tempat kita menjadi asli, tempat kita menjadi diri sendiri, bukan bayangan yang khalayak agungkan.

I ain't holding back


WARNING : This will be lot more personal than ever, so you can just leave if you're not in to read abt my fuck up love life. Because really, at this rate I'll only doing this shit abt my cracked up emotions. 

All this times, i gave you chances. A lot of chances. And each time you screw it up. Like it was nothing. Like I was nothing. When I come near you, you'll push me away. You don't give a damn about what I feel. All you care is you, you, and you. Your comfort, your space, your feeling, your everything. When I tell you about what I want, you'll say I don't understand you. You'll give thousand and one excuses to deny whatever I'm asking at you.
Last night I talk about our break up, and you say you never had leave me, never had dumped me. What the heck? All those crying, those sober me, those depression I have each time I want to move on, all those post I write about the heart break, all those pages in the diary saying you left me all alone. And you're saying we're still together. We still an item. NO. It may sounds really good, and it feels good too but hell NO. Not with your stupid-bitch-all-fucked-up-junior-that-i-never-really-know whatsoever scandal of yours. Not when you're seeing her. You think you can two timed me? Uh,uh, you're wrong baby. I can do better. Just watch me. When you're picking up girls, pick them good. I swear to god, she not worth it. Dammit. I don't even feel jealous at her. At both of you. 
Arghhhhhh! Fuck you. I hate you. I hate you're making all of this like I meant nothing. I hate you for not hating me. Got what I mean? I know you still love me and stuff but your heart is so big that you can fit it with other girl too. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Just hate me and get out from my life. Each time you came back for me, I hope higher, and when I do I know sooner or later I will fall. And that hurt much. 
You know I'll never get over you, and I will always be there to catch you when you fall. Yeah, you always fall. I know you more than you know yourself. You know it, don't you? 
Gosshhhh. Who am I kidding right? I will never ever ever get over you. I still love you all the same, even though you were bitching with that bitch, at bitching elsewhere, talking bitch, saying bitch stuff, doing bitch thing. Whatever fuck that you do, I know I will still love you.
OHMYGOD! Why can't you see how obsessed I am at you? You should be running, no. Sprinting towards me and get by my side now. Just only if you can see me. Damn. What am I doing?


Just saying.



4 comments:

  1. I'll always be here, for you. If and only if you want to. Be strong Hanna.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You're the sweetest thing. Rindu :'(

    ReplyDelete
  3. Babe, I know the feeling. Believe it or not, it'd been more than a year. I know I'm stupid, but, well...
    Anyway, be strong Na. I know u are :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sayangss, you means world to me right now. Boys, they all stupid aren't they? Haha. I'll be strong :)

    ReplyDelete