blog tempat untuk kita meluah rasa, mengekpresi diri, bukan mempertimbang pandangan atau cuba menjadi sesuatu yang lain. blog tempat kita menjadi asli, tempat kita menjadi diri sendiri, bukan bayangan yang khalayak agungkan.

Awesome Movie.

This time, it's One Day.
Seriously guys, you must watch it.
You can found them online, even on youtube.
I read the book in my college year.
So, when i found the movie.
I jumped with excite, literally.
You know, when a book brought forward and be filmed it always dissapoint me. The biggest dissapointment, well of course. Harry Potter.
You read some stuff, and they were so good and when it was televised,
You surely expect the same good stuff. But it turned out, well, displeasing.
But, this One Day.
It so awesome, i'm being lil bit biased here because the main lead were both my favourite. Jim Sturgess and Anne Hathaway. Waddup?
Okay, i won't be telling abt the story this time.
Because it is so frustating.
It gives you hope, and in the same time, make you down.
And they expect us to face the reality,
when what they been shown to us was hope all along.
Come on. I am trying to fit in the reality, but after watching this.
I feel more insecured. I can't give my all to some ppl.
I don't think i can take the risk to lean on just one person at my whole life.
In simple word, this movie makes me feel more scared being in relationship,
Makes me being scared to take things to another level.
I watch the first half of this story abt a month ago,
But because i'm scared to reach the point where the heroin will eventually die, i only watch the other half today.
I am so fucking insecured, scared. Am i?
I am a freak. I know that.
Ohh, but guys.
You totally have to watch One Day. :)
Nevertheless what i blabber about.
It's me who we talking about.
I talk gibberish.
Like all the time.
Cheerio. ;D

Cheer !

I'm such a happy girl!
Remember, i once tell i were really terrible friend?
Today, i just make up with a friend.
Whom i once proclaimed were my bestfriend.
I did things i didnt proud of to her.
I gave her the silent treatment,
I were really cold towards her.
Yes, i'm such a jerk.
But, i manage to throw away all my ego,
And wallla!
I contact her back!
Weeee, i love you so much!
I dont really want to mention your name.
Because i'm still ashamed.
But if you were reading this,
you'll know its you i talk about honey.
Much love, :*

Pursuit of Happiness

VERSE 1:
Crush a bit, little bit, roll it up, take a hit
Feelin lit feelin light, 2 am summer night.
I don't care, hand on the wheel, drivin drunk, I'm doin my thing
Rollin the Midwest side and out livin my life getting out dreams

People told me slow my roll I'm screaming out fuck that
Imma do just what I want lookin ahead no turnin back
if I fall if I die know I lived it to the fullest
if I fall if I die know I lived it missing bullets

CHORUS
I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold
I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good.
(x2)

VERSE 2:
Tell me what you know about dreamin dreamin
you don't really know about nothin nothin
tell me what you know about them night terrors every night
5 am, cold sweats wakin up to the skies
tell me what you know about dreams, dreams
tell me what you know about night terrors, nothin
you don't really care about the trials of tomorrow
rather lay awake in a bed full of sorrow

CHORUS:
I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold
I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good
(x2)

(Guitar Solo)

CHORUS:
I'm on the pursuit of happiness. I know everything that shines ain't always gold
I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good

I'm on the pursuit of happiness
And I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold, hey
I'll be fine once I get it, yeah
I'll be good

Pursuit of happiness, yeah
I dont get it, Ill be good

I don't know, since when, or why.
I find this song kind of soothing.
Eventho this not exactly my type of genre.
But, yeah.
For this time being.
This song really comforts me in strange way.
Am I slowly changing?

Lifeless.

Idk why, but i seems really into blogging back.
Maybw because i'm a freak. Or pathetic anti social adult.
I can't say anti social teenagers no more, can i? Haha.
Or maybe it just simply because i'm old fashioned to use blog.
But yeah, this place is sooo comforting.
Because no one will judge.
Because no one really cares what going on here.
I don't really need ppl to talk abt my problems.
I usually kept them, or talk abt them here.
And if i talk to you abt my problems, know that i am super duper comfy with you. :)
My idea of telling ppl abt my problem is, babble all the way either i'm hating a situation or confused or have no clue abt sth and repeatly asking them what to do. And i know, i annoy you. So much. Am i rite? Hahaha.
And sometimes, i want to talk abt my stuff with those clique from high school. Yes, mimi, aeton, ain. You guys. But, i know you will have no clue abt what i'll babble abt. So each time, i refused to consult to you guys.
But know, i still love you all the same. :*
Ughh, i gtg.
I'll continue writing this in a bit.

The Idea

Wait, no one does really read my blog kan?
Well, so I know i'm in a safe place.
I could just have this blog privated, or block everyone from reading it.
But somehow, i wanted it to be public because honestly i want 'you' to read these.
I been thinking quite alot.
And i know this may be dumbest idea ever, probably worst because of the society we've been living in.

I decided to not getting married.

Hahahahaha. The idea of being kept by a single man,
the idea of surviving all thru tick and thin with a same man,
the idea of having his baby,
the idea of living all happily ever after.
Well, it sounds nice and before, i reallu excited abt all these stuff. But as i give it a deeper look, the deeper i found the meaning of all those ideas.
With brought me a whole lot new perspective.
How am i gonna keep myself from being sick and bored and tired of one single man for my whole life.
How am i gonna go thru tick and thin with him if i dont even wanna do it with myself.
Why must i have his baby?
My belly gonna burst, i gotta to take care babies, raising em up to be exact, i got to have responsibility for god sake.
Who am i kidding?
Its me, come on. I'm Hanna.
I still watch cartoons, and i still play around doing Kamen Rider stunts wherever i go.
I don't really fond of taking responsibility.
I don't even like kids actually.
I only like em when they are cute and stuff.
Ohh, and happily ever after?
Please, it should be stay cool with your marriage and try not getting divorced ever after.
God. I don't know whay i'm thinking before.
Thrilled by the idea of getting married.
Past me, future me are laughing my ass off to you right now.
Well, i were only thinking abt not getting married.
But we dont know what will happen right?
Maybe tomorrow i woke up and mom will say, 'Na, tahun depan kahwin'.
Haha. I'm sooo dead by then.
Crossed my finger.

   2013.11.17 - 23:49

RAMYUN

I don't usually watch a drama or a movie more than once.
But movies like Harry Potter, How I Met Your Mother, Pitch Perfect, they are sooo good. I can watch em thousand times.
And yesterday i just finished FlowerBoyRamyunShop marathon.
16 episode in 2 days. Haha. See, i don't have a life. Really.
Watching Koreans make me sooooo girlish and all, and Cha Chi Soo is so awesome and Eun Bi so fucking lucky. Grrr.

Perempuan's

As i lay down alone
You face comes and linger me
You never really left
I never really gone
We never really fall apart
On those sleepless night
I miss laying beside you
On those quiet night
I miss your silly jokes
On those countless night i were counting stars
It was you that i see
You never leave
You see
People makes mistakes
People regrets
And so am I
And i know this so well
That you never coming back running to my arm
Eventhough you never really left
But you not coming back
Yes?
   2013.11.17 - 00:39

This is meant for you, even i know you never know this labyrinth of mine exist. So be it.

Buntu.

Pernah rasa runsing? Kusut, lemas. But have no idea abt what.
Ni lah masalah aku sekarang. Taktau sebab hormon atau ape benda.
Tapi seriously, dah lama sangat benak otak aku ni.
Hati pun dah tepu. Perangai anti sosial pun tak surut lagi ni.
Nak mengadu kat siapa pun taktahu.
Tak jumpa muka y relevan utk stori mori pasal masalah y aku sendiri takfaham ni. Yela, if cerita je kat sape sape mesti dye pun annoy dgn ketidakwujudan masalah y aku sendiri timbulkan. Haha. Ape benda ni.
Dulu ada lah perempuan aku tu, sekarang ni rasanya dengar nama aku pun dah taknak kot.
Arghhhh. Pening. Betul betul.
Social media mmg banyak, tapi karang aku tweet ada jela y nak bash.
FB, euww. Aku takfaham kenapa kat wall aku ramai gilos orang y aku tak kenal. I mean, friend aku takramai and aku selalu jugak buat sesi unfriend agas agas dari FB dgn Aien dulu. Dari mana datangnya makhluk y aku tak kenal ni semua. Insta. Hahhhh. Aku melepet je kat rumah nak post kebendanya. Gambar lempeng petang semalam? Ke pekasam tengahari tadi? Atau gambar bdaman Adam y banyak tuh. Whatsapp, Wechat, etc,etc. Tak terusik pun. Aku ni lagi teruk dari si Asza. At least Asza berkepit dgn tab ada juga dye communicate dengan makhluk lain. Aku? Ape pun tak boleh.
Arghhhhhhhh.
Nasib baik kat sini takde siapa pun datang baca. Ohh, melainkan segelintir blogger y masih tegar. Tahniah tahniah! Kite taklupa diri kan? Hahaha.
Hanna, stop it. Kau dah lalok nih.
Okay. Tidur. Bye.

Broken.

I broke promises. That who i am. I'm too afraid i guess. This is karma. For what other done to me, or what others may had suffer. All thing just don't work out for the time being. I'm being the anti social once more. I don't know this time, until when it will eat me up. I might as well not going back being the old me. I might changed. And maybe thats the best. Gosh. Please, kill me.

It all ends here.

I can't bear this anymore.
I can't do this any further.
I just can't.
And i'm sorry.
Faking it up totally sucks.
So I better take the easy way out.
We have to end.