Awesome Movie.

This time, it's One Day.
Seriously guys, you must watch it.
You can found them online, even on youtube.
I read the book in my college year.
So, when i found the movie.
I jumped with excite, literally.
You know, when a book brought forward and be filmed it always dissapoint me. The biggest dissapointment, well of course. Harry Potter.
You read some stuff, and they were so good and when it was televised,
You surely expect the same good stuff. But it turned out, well, displeasing.
But, this One Day.
It so awesome, i'm being lil bit biased here because the main lead were both my favourite. Jim Sturgess and Anne Hathaway. Waddup?
Okay, i won't be telling abt the story this time.
Because it is so frustating.
It gives you hope, and in the same time, make you down.
And they expect us to face the reality,
when what they been shown to us was hope all along.
Come on. I am trying to fit in the reality, but after watching this.
I feel more insecured. I can't give my all to some ppl.
I don't think i can take the risk to lean on just one person at my whole life.
In simple word, this movie makes me feel more scared being in relationship,
Makes me being scared to take things to another level.
I watch the first half of this story abt a month ago,
But because i'm scared to reach the point where the heroin will eventually die, i only watch the other half today.
I am so fucking insecured, scared. Am i?
I am a freak. I know that.
Ohh, but guys.
You totally have to watch One Day. :)
Nevertheless what i blabber about.
It's me who we talking about.
I talk gibberish.
Like all the time.
Cheerio. ;D

Cheer !

I'm such a happy girl!
Remember, i once tell i were really terrible friend?
Today, i just make up with a friend.
Whom i once proclaimed were my bestfriend.
I did things i didnt proud of to her.
I gave her the silent treatment,
I were really cold towards her.
Yes, i'm such a jerk.
But, i manage to throw away all my ego,
And wallla!
I contact her back!
Weeee, i love you so much!
I dont really want to mention your name.
Because i'm still ashamed.
But if you were reading this,
you'll know its you i talk about honey.
Much love, :*

Pursuit of Happiness

VERSE 1:
Crush a bit, little bit, roll it up, take a hit
Feelin lit feelin light, 2 am summer night.
I don't care, hand on the wheel, drivin drunk, I'm doin my thing
Rollin the Midwest side and out livin my life getting out dreams

People told me slow my roll I'm screaming out fuck that
Imma do just what I want lookin ahead no turnin back
if I fall if I die know I lived it to the fullest
if I fall if I die know I lived it missing bullets

CHORUS
I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold
I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good.
(x2)

VERSE 2:
Tell me what you know about dreamin dreamin
you don't really know about nothin nothin
tell me what you know about them night terrors every night
5 am, cold sweats wakin up to the skies
tell me what you know about dreams, dreams
tell me what you know about night terrors, nothin
you don't really care about the trials of tomorrow
rather lay awake in a bed full of sorrow

CHORUS:
I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold
I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good
(x2)

(Guitar Solo)

CHORUS:
I'm on the pursuit of happiness. I know everything that shines ain't always gold
I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good

I'm on the pursuit of happiness
And I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold, hey
I'll be fine once I get it, yeah
I'll be good

Pursuit of happiness, yeah
I dont get it, Ill be good

I don't know, since when, or why.
I find this song kind of soothing.
Eventho this not exactly my type of genre.
But, yeah.
For this time being.
This song really comforts me in strange way.
Am I slowly changing?

Lifeless.

Idk why, but i seems really into blogging back.
Maybw because i'm a freak. Or pathetic anti social adult.
I can't say anti social teenagers no more, can i? Haha.
Or maybe it just simply because i'm old fashioned to use blog.
But yeah, this place is sooo comforting.
Because no one will judge.
Because no one really cares what going on here.
I don't really need ppl to talk abt my problems.
I usually kept them, or talk abt them here.
And if i talk to you abt my problems, know that i am super duper comfy with you. :)
My idea of telling ppl abt my problem is, babble all the way either i'm hating a situation or confused or have no clue abt sth and repeatly asking them what to do. And i know, i annoy you. So much. Am i rite? Hahaha.
And sometimes, i want to talk abt my stuff with those clique from high school. Yes, mimi, aeton, ain. You guys. But, i know you will have no clue abt what i'll babble abt. So each time, i refused to consult to you guys.
But know, i still love you all the same. :*
Ughh, i gtg.
I'll continue writing this in a bit.

The Idea

Wait, no one does really read my blog kan?
Well, so I know i'm in a safe place.
I could just have this blog privated, or block everyone from reading it.
But somehow, i wanted it to be public because honestly i want 'you' to read these.
I been thinking quite alot.
And i know this may be dumbest idea ever, probably worst because of the society we've been living in.

I decided to not getting married.

Hahahahaha. The idea of being kept by a single man,
the idea of surviving all thru tick and thin with a same man,
the idea of having his baby,
the idea of living all happily ever after.
Well, it sounds nice and before, i reallu excited abt all these stuff. But as i give it a deeper look, the deeper i found the meaning of all those ideas.
With brought me a whole lot new perspective.
How am i gonna keep myself from being sick and bored and tired of one single man for my whole life.
How am i gonna go thru tick and thin with him if i dont even wanna do it with myself.
Why must i have his baby?
My belly gonna burst, i gotta to take care babies, raising em up to be exact, i got to have responsibility for god sake.
Who am i kidding?
Its me, come on. I'm Hanna.
I still watch cartoons, and i still play around doing Kamen Rider stunts wherever i go.
I don't really fond of taking responsibility.
I don't even like kids actually.
I only like em when they are cute and stuff.
Ohh, and happily ever after?
Please, it should be stay cool with your marriage and try not getting divorced ever after.
God. I don't know whay i'm thinking before.
Thrilled by the idea of getting married.
Past me, future me are laughing my ass off to you right now.
Well, i were only thinking abt not getting married.
But we dont know what will happen right?
Maybe tomorrow i woke up and mom will say, 'Na, tahun depan kahwin'.
Haha. I'm sooo dead by then.
Crossed my finger.

   2013.11.17 - 23:49

RAMYUN

I don't usually watch a drama or a movie more than once.
But movies like Harry Potter, How I Met Your Mother, Pitch Perfect, they are sooo good. I can watch em thousand times.
And yesterday i just finished FlowerBoyRamyunShop marathon.
16 episode in 2 days. Haha. See, i don't have a life. Really.
Watching Koreans make me sooooo girlish and all, and Cha Chi Soo is so awesome and Eun Bi so fucking lucky. Grrr.

Perempuan's

As i lay down alone
You face comes and linger me
You never really left
I never really gone
We never really fall apart
On those sleepless night
I miss laying beside you
On those quiet night
I miss your silly jokes
On those countless night i were counting stars
It was you that i see
You never leave
You see
People makes mistakes
People regrets
And so am I
And i know this so well
That you never coming back running to my arm
Eventhough you never really left
But you not coming back
Yes?
   2013.11.17 - 00:39

This is meant for you, even i know you never know this labyrinth of mine exist. So be it.

Buntu.

Pernah rasa runsing? Kusut, lemas. But have no idea abt what.
Ni lah masalah aku sekarang. Taktau sebab hormon atau ape benda.
Tapi seriously, dah lama sangat benak otak aku ni.
Hati pun dah tepu. Perangai anti sosial pun tak surut lagi ni.
Nak mengadu kat siapa pun taktahu.
Tak jumpa muka y relevan utk stori mori pasal masalah y aku sendiri takfaham ni. Yela, if cerita je kat sape sape mesti dye pun annoy dgn ketidakwujudan masalah y aku sendiri timbulkan. Haha. Ape benda ni.
Dulu ada lah perempuan aku tu, sekarang ni rasanya dengar nama aku pun dah taknak kot.
Arghhhh. Pening. Betul betul.
Social media mmg banyak, tapi karang aku tweet ada jela y nak bash.
FB, euww. Aku takfaham kenapa kat wall aku ramai gilos orang y aku tak kenal. I mean, friend aku takramai and aku selalu jugak buat sesi unfriend agas agas dari FB dgn Aien dulu. Dari mana datangnya makhluk y aku tak kenal ni semua. Insta. Hahhhh. Aku melepet je kat rumah nak post kebendanya. Gambar lempeng petang semalam? Ke pekasam tengahari tadi? Atau gambar bdaman Adam y banyak tuh. Whatsapp, Wechat, etc,etc. Tak terusik pun. Aku ni lagi teruk dari si Asza. At least Asza berkepit dgn tab ada juga dye communicate dengan makhluk lain. Aku? Ape pun tak boleh.
Arghhhhhhhh.
Nasib baik kat sini takde siapa pun datang baca. Ohh, melainkan segelintir blogger y masih tegar. Tahniah tahniah! Kite taklupa diri kan? Hahaha.
Hanna, stop it. Kau dah lalok nih.
Okay. Tidur. Bye.

Broken.

I broke promises. That who i am. I'm too afraid i guess. This is karma. For what other done to me, or what others may had suffer. All thing just don't work out for the time being. I'm being the anti social once more. I don't know this time, until when it will eat me up. I might as well not going back being the old me. I might changed. And maybe thats the best. Gosh. Please, kill me.

It all ends here.

I can't bear this anymore.
I can't do this any further.
I just can't.
And i'm sorry.
Faking it up totally sucks.
So I better take the easy way out.
We have to end.

The other one,

He is the other one. 

The other half, 

lets hope he'll be the last :)

 For all you've shown to me, 

and for what will becoming next,

 i hope this will last.

I hope we will last.

Aminn.

So here's to the most sporting boyfie ever.

Muhammad Haffiqrrie Mansor.

ILY.

Conflict

I never knew, there were ppl that know abt me. Knows abt my conflict. Know abt what i'm feeling all along. And i never thought that there were ppl that really care abt me. Eventhough they never say it out loud. For that, i thanks you. I really am. I know, all this time i didn't share all my thoughts, all my problem, what have been troubling me. But despite of my paranoid act, you guys understand me enough. I never see it. I never have believed you guys were always there watching my back. I mean, seriously? We were not the best buddies, not even in the same clique. But you guys know what i suffer all this time. When i lose hope, you came and soothes. When i am afraid, you'll be there right beside me. When i'm depressed, you cheer me up. Gosh. And now, when i'm no longer around you still gave me words and courage. You give all sort of advices, you guide me to the right path. 

Well friends, i love you.

Seriously, even i know none, none of you will ever read this i still want you guys to know i am completely blessed to have you guys as my friend.

Thank you. :) 

And just so you know,

i have moved on.

Yippie yeay!

Welcome to The Real Life

I've finished my Diploma in Accountancy with the extended semester,

i've finished with all those bullshit drama at college,

and now,

the reality awaits.

And sooo,

the job hunting begins.

Pfft.

Wish me luck people.

Broken Promises

Ironic isn't it? 27th, the day all of this things started and all of it ended.

It's over right now. Not that i leave you just because of revenge, but it all because of you.

You started it all. Really. I didn't mean to broke all the promises. But, it is the best thing right now.

Know that i love you. Even now and then. It just i'm not the one for you. Maybe i'm the obstacle, so i better off now. Take care of yourself. Cope in with every problem you are having right now. Yes, i want to accompany you. But i have to be selfish. I can't think for the sake of others anymore for the time being. I'm sorry for leaving you in those mess. I'm sorry leaving you with the mess. I'm truly sorry for the promises i said before. I just can't. And Faiza, thanks for all this time. Thanks for your love. I don't have any, any gut to tell you this. I can only write it at here. But when the time is right, i'll let you know how much i thank you and how much i feel sorry for you. When the time is right, i will. For now, move on and live well.
27th July 2011 - 27th September 2013

1 Bucket of Tears.

Okay, i admit it some old drama. But seriously, it is so fucking awesome.

Please, i had not cried this much since err last break up?

It kind of relieve that i can let go all those tears in a good way.

Its like i sort of spend some quality time with myself.

This really what i need right now.

Some time, and space.

:)

Lakaran Masa

Lakaran masa dengan kamu,

cukup semuanya,

gelak riang,

berteman tangis,

berkongsi cherita.

Lakaran masa kita berdua,

Pahatkan dalam kenangan,

jangan biar aku hilang,

kerana pada aku,

kamu antara lakaran masa terindah aku.

Buat Siti Noranis Mustafa.

Heads Up

I just finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It’s a great book, really great. I felt like there gonna be a hole on my chest when i’m nearing the last page. It is the same feeling when I finished a countless season of drama. It close enough to the sober I had when I read Deathly Hallows, and that is big. What I’m trying to say is, I feel really close to the character. Their stories, is like they can really fit into mine. Maybe not literally, because I wasn’t been abuse by my aunt, or being called ‘blow-queen’ at my freshmen year, and I definitely not a gay. Sidenotes, you probably don’t get these, but if you try check out the book, this will make sense. I promise. The thing with Charlie is, he is weird and nerd. And so am i. I love it when he talks abt good music and great books. He really know how to appreciate life. He fill his time with lots of good stuff, with a bunch of cool friends too. Cool doesn’t mean the popular kids, the teachers pets, or so whatsoever we used to know or at least what I thought before. Charlie’s cool friends were friends that fun to be with because they enjoy being themselves. That makes them cool, they don’t have to pretend or being hipocrite at all. Maybe it just Brad who ashame on himself for being gay. I know its wrong, but I still think we should be true abt ourselves. Here i’m again, writing gibberish and stuff. In the end, I don’t know the right words for a closure. I never think that I good at one. I never really have a closure before, maybe a long talk after breakup with my ex at that one time is the closest to perfect closure. Because I still have that silly crush on him until maybe a month after that so-called closure. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve completely get over him now. So back to the book, I think starting from now I’ll finds books whenever I had a chance to do so. I want to be like Charlie, basically he never ran out of book to read. Because Bill always gave him a new one after another. I want to continuosly reading books so I can see the world from so many point of view. I can see things from many perspectives. That sound really freak doesn’t it? Haha. But I admit, sometimes I can be a freak. You just have to wait to the right time. You just have to wait.

Amor, amor,

Sooo, semalam Part 6 Group DIA aka Diploma In Accountancy held annual dinner dekat Ayer Keroh.

Emph, nothing much nak taip actually. Overall dinner sangat havoc sebab semua pun have fun bersama sama. Tapi aku sangattt penat. Orang gerak pergi dinner pukul 8, aku gerak pukul 2. Nak arrange hall punya   pasal. -.-" Takde buat apa pun sebenarnya, tapi still penat gila. Ni, rasa cambest pulak upload gambar. :)

Dengan Queen of Night kauuu, haha.

Most awesome lect ever ! Madam Nora <3 nbsp="" p="">

Apakah ? :P

With my girl ! Hannniiiiii : )

After partyyy.

Main event, makan !

:D

Okayy, habis dah. Gambar kat facebook bersepah dah~

Insecurity,

When we get an attention from a soul, our heart will be shaken for a bit. And now, i've got that attention. Knowing that someone will be there for me, and truth to be told those butterflies came again. And i'm in a great fear that i'll start forgetting you like you did. So please, take a grip at my heart and never let go. 

Stupidity,

Stupidity never stop, you know? Haha. Don't know why laa. Over him, not over him, overreact, overfeelings, bullSHIT. Ini semua poyo lah. Just now, stalk jantan tu lagi. Stalk bitch tu. Hah, tiba tiba rasa she's reading this. Oh, well if you are, here some sincere advice. Don't trust him. Tapi kalau nak nak juga, go on lah. And you'll know how you will end up. Exactly like this. Like me. 

Okay, back to the main point. Stupidity. Idk if this word even exist. Should i googled it? Haha. Nevermind. Haish, sekarang dah mabuk. Confuse if i'm happy, or jealous, or sad, or mad, or i don't have a feeling at all. Tiba tiba rasa dah tiba masa untuk move on. Like, for real. Hanna, wake up and get a life. A real life. Boleh ke macam ni? Probably lepas ni akan spend more time dengan classmate and housemate. Yeah, you've done that in quite sometime pun. Syabas :D

Sekarang bangga dengan diri sendiri. Yeah. Dalam depressed pun masih boleh berfikir dengan tenang. Er, tenang lah juga. 

But whatever it is, true to be told you'll find true heart that love you when they still there no matter what. And for that, Mimiey, Aeton. I LOVE YOU. I know, i'm not a great friend but you still there for me and i'm thankful for that. :'( 

Haishh, tiba tiba dah jadi cheesy. Lalalala~ Tidur lah.

I ain't holding back

WARNING : This will be lot more personal than ever, so you can just leave if you're not in to read abt my fuck up love life. Because really, at this rate I'll only doing this shit abt my cracked up emotions. 

All this times, i gave you chances. A lot of chances. And each time you screw it up. Like it was nothing. Like I was nothing. When I come near you, you'll push me away. You don't give a damn about what I feel. All you care is you, you, and you. Your comfort, your space, your feeling, your everything. When I tell you about what I want, you'll say I don't understand you. You'll give thousand and one excuses to deny whatever I'm asking at you.

Last night I talk about our break up, and you say you never had leave me, never had dumped me. What the heck? All those crying, those sober me, those depression I have each time I want to move on, all those post I write about the heart break, all those pages in the diary saying you left me all alone. And you're saying we're still together. We still an item. NO. It may sounds really good, and it feels good too but hell NO. Not with your stupid-bitch-all-fucked-up-junior-that-i-never-really-know whatsoever scandal of yours. Not when you're seeing her. You think you can two timed me? Uh,uh, you're wrong baby. I can do better. Just watch me. When you're picking up girls, pick them good. I swear to god, she not worth it. Dammit. I don't even feel jealous at her. At both of you. 

Arghhhhhh! Fuck you. I hate you. I hate you're making all of this like I meant nothing. I hate you for not hating me. Got what I mean? I know you still love me and stuff but your heart is so big that you can fit it with other girl too. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Just hate me and get out from my life. Each time you came back for me, I hope higher, and when I do I know sooner or later I will fall. And that hurt much. 

You know I'll never get over you, and I will always be there to catch you when you fall. Yeah, you always fall. I know you more than you know yourself. You know it, don't you? 

Gosshhhh. Who am I kidding right? I will never ever ever get over you. I still love you all the same, even though you were bitching with that bitch, at bitching elsewhere, talking bitch, saying bitch stuff, doing bitch thing. Whatever fuck that you do, I know I will still love you.

OHMYGOD! Why can't you see how obsessed I am at you? You should be running, no. Sprinting towards me and get by my side now. Just only if you can see me. Damn. What am I doing?

Just saying.

Falls hard, pains as much.

Give up, takes chances back, hope high, being hurt again and give up. Again. And again and again.

All of this is useless. Bullshit. This heart of mine. Don't know how to choose the right one. It keeps faith at the wrong heart. Being comfy and all and yet get hurt again. There will always be a lesson that you never learn aren't you? Giving up at the right heart. You never learn that. Dammit.